When eating becomes a problem

Eating is necessary to live.
Therefore, weight loss and lack of appetite can deeply worry the relatives of seriously ill patients.
We associate eating with “feeling well,” and we show care for others by serving them delicious food.

It may be difficult for those around you to understand if you feel disgusted by food or eating.
Some may even see it as a sign that you are not making enough effort to live as long as possible.
Your relatives may perceive your refusal of food as a rejection of them personally.
When all their attempts to get you to eat fail, and they are already worried about your health, they may feel hurt or rejected.

Food can easily become the subject of many worries and conflicts.
Your relatives may seem controlling because they monitor everything you eat and how much you eat.
At the same time, there is a strong connection between food and emotions —
your worries and fears about the future can worsen your loss of appetite or nausea.

It can be very difficult to eat, but do your best to maintain your weight.
Even small amounts of food and drink throughout the day can improve your well-being and give you energy for daily activities.
That’s why eating is worth the effort.

If you can, follow the pleasure principle — eat and drink what you enjoy.
If you don’t feel like eating at all, just have a little; it’s better than nothing.
And if you have no appetite, it may help to ask yourself,
“What could I imagine eating?”
This way, you don’t have to relate to a desire that isn’t there.

There are a few things you can do if you find eating difficult:
If solid food is hard to eat, choose soft or liquid meals —
for example, blended or mashed food, soups, porridge, various desserts, or nutritional drinks.
Milk, cocoa, drinking yoghurt, milkshakes, or buttermilk are also good options.
There are many possibilities.

Try to eat with others.
Sometimes this can help increase your appetite, and you don’t have to eat the same as everyone else.
If food and body weight have become overwhelming concerns,
talk to your doctor about whether it might be helpful to take a break from focusing on eating.
Such a break may ease the pressure and give you new energy to try again.

During that break, you and your family should try to stop focusing on food
and instead enjoy your time together.
For relatives, it’s important to understand that the patient is not refusing to eat deliberately.
Pressuring them does not help — it may only make things worse.

As a relative, you can gently suggest what might be pleasant to eat or drink,
but try to avoid asking directly what the patient wants.
Since many people with no appetite find it hard to express preferences,
not having to make such choices can be a relief.