What do I do if my relative with a mental illness does not want help?

As a relative, you may feel like you are standing on the sidelines watching a person close to you with mental health problems and experience that he or she has gotten worse and in a poorer mental state over time, but does not want help or treatment. No matter the reason, it can be very difficult for you as a relative, because you may feel very powerless and perhaps rejected.

It can be difficult for you to decide whether you should react to what you see or whether you should wait and see. Sometimes it may be supportive that you respect that your relative with a mental illness may need more distance during periods.

When you call your relative with a mental illness or knock on his or her door, you may experience not getting contact. Show understanding, come by another time. It is important that you show that you are there.

However, if your relative with a mental illness isolates himself or herself for a long time, you should react, as there may be signs of deterioration of the illness.

Healthcare professionals should receive information from the relatives about experiences which the relative and the patient have had, even if the patient does not consent to this. But if your relative is admitted, you should be aware that this will be recorded in the patient record, so your relative with a mental illness will therefore be able to read this.

If you are in a situation in which you experience that your relative has an acute need for help, you can do the following: Contact your relative’s doctor who can assess whether there is an acute need for help, perhaps by making a house call if your relative does not want to go to an appointment at the doctor’s office. You can contact your relative’s therapist if he or she is associated with a psychiatric unit.

Outside of your own doctor’s hours, you can contact an on-call doctor, contact a psychiatric emergency room and accompany your relative if you can persuade him or her to this. If there is an acute danger for the life of your relative or others, you can also contact the police, who will help contact a doctor who can assess the condition.

You may also experience that your relative with a mental illness is in a course of treatment, but does not want you to be involved in the treatment. The staff in the psychiatric unit must respect the choice of the person with the mental illness and comply with confidentiality.

Still, we can offer support to relatives at a general level without breaking the obligation for confidentiality. For example, the staff may offer the relatives a conversation with a view to offering support and guidance as a relative. We may also give general information, for example about mental illnesses and treatment options.

Contact the staff where your relative receives treatment. They can give you general guidance about mental illnesses and support for being a relative.