It's difficult to not be able to take care of yourself

It's difficult to not be able to take care of oneself - Hans Jorgen (62) and Merete (60) are married. Hans Jørgen has had one knee and two hip replacements.

Hans Jørgen is an independent man who found it tough that he wasn't able to do some of the things he had been able to before. You didn't like asking me, and you didn't like if I just did it. Like lifting heavy things, that was harder for you - you have always been strong and able to lift and move everything. Sometimes we had to do it together - I felt that that you were irritated about that. Yes. Because I can do it.

It's a bit of a defeat to have to ask your wife for help lifting anything that I previously would've been able to throw around like nothing. You become weak as a man or 'male', and that's not fun. I think that it's basic instinct for most people, that there's great value in being able to take care of oneself and manage all the things around one. One so accustomed to that, and it's hard to come to terms with if you suddenly can't anymore. That's probably what hurts.

During the course of the illness, we also both got older and older, and it all gets put into perspective: "OK, this is some type of transition to being able to do fewer things. And it's difficult to come to terms with. That's it. Ages comes, you can't do anything about that. Naturally age also adds to one becoming weaker - therefore, the rest needs to work - preferably 100%.